“It’s a unique British cultural thing, that we all support us through thick and thin.
“When the times are tough, we’ll be there and, when times are good, we’ll also be there.”
The Barmy Army celebrates one of the 10 Australian wickets to fall.Credit: Chris Hopkins
England’s big-talking Bazballers were so good at conning their supporters into thinking they were a chance that 3500 have flown out to join the Barmy Army’s official tour. Though up to 40,000 England fans are expected to jump on board with the group’s activities in Melbourne this week.
On Christmas Day, 1500 attended the Barmy Army Christmas lunch at Crown, and its official merchandise – which can be paid for in English pounds or Aussie dollars– is selling quicker than its top order fell in the afternoon session.
Charlie Chaplin (Colin Bloomfield) says he’ll never abandon the team, no matter how badly they play.Credit: Chris Hopkins
Dressed as Charlie Chaplin, Colin Bloomfield has become a Barmy Army institution across six Ashes tours and has seen it all before. After Alex Carey’s wicket, Bloomfield took to the aisle between bays 12 and 13 to lead the Barmy Army chant for an ear-splitting five minutes, but speaking over a beer in his seat soon after, he was far from getting ahead of himself.
“We’re used to losing five-nil,” Bloomfield said. “We follow the team, we back the team and follow them through thick and thin … Unfortunately, on this tour, it’s been more thin than thick.
“But we’re better than that, and in the last game in Adelaide we showed a little bit more bottle, and they’re putting a little bit of a fight on here.
“A lot of people have come out from the UK just for these two Tests, and I think the players accept that, and they really put in an effort.”
Milo (AKA the Archbishop of Canterbury) and his Beefeater mates Charlie, Matt, Paddy and Henry are among those who have flown out from London to reinforce England’s ranks for the Melbourne and Sydney Tests, assured they’d at least be coming out to cheer on a live series, if not an Ashes series win.
England won’t get the Ashes, but their supporters are having a hell of a lot of fun.Credit: Chris Hopkins
“The chance of being three-nil worried us when we booked our tickets a year ago, but obviously we couldn’t get a refund. So we’re out here, we’re enjoying it,” Milo said.
“It would be better if we were winning, but we’re here for the guys and we’re we’re here for the sun and the beers. So we’re happy.
“We just a bit annoyed that this [beer] is only 3.5 per cent. That’s the only thing holding us back.”
Milo and his mates needn’t have worried. A moment later, when the Cam Green runout happens, they found the perfect place to stick their mid-strength was over my head.
It’s a moment of celebration for them, and a good lesson for me: you can prepare for the Barmy Army all you want but, as rubbish as England is on the field, the Barmy Army always makes the most of its moments.
Grant McArthur finds the worse England performs, the louder the Barmy Army becomes.Credit: Chris Hopkins
Even better, my hat and shirt had barely dried before the Poms were five wickets down and the cricket world had righted itself.
But if anyone thought the Barmy Army was about to shut up, they must have had something far more than an Englishman’s finger shoved in their ear.
As each wicket fell, the army only got louder, leaving their seats and flooding the aisles and standing room in celebration of who-knows-what. And, with so many wickets falling, the noise by the end of day one was absolutely deafening.
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Australia may win the Ashes on the field, but it’s impossible to stand up to the Barmy Army off it – and it’s stupid – but fun – to try.
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