How I deliver candid feedback in ‘a couple seconds’ without hurting feelings

How I deliver candid feedback in ‘a couple seconds’ without hurting feelings

When in a heated basketball game or rushing against the clock to meet a deadline at work, sometimes delivering constructive criticism needs to be quick.

Taking the time to present feedback in an appeasing way like using the “sandwich approach” to share criticism in between two compliments is simply not feasible when you’re in a crunch, says Sonia Raman, head coach of the WNBA’s Seattle Storm.

In a basketball game, “you might have a couple seconds when the ball goes out of bounds to talk to a player before we inbound and go to the next play,” Raman says. “There’s not going to be a lot of time. You have to be really direct, and you have to go for it.”

However, delivering candid criticism in a heated moment can be risky. To avoid hurt feelings, Raman says she relies on the relationships and trust she builds with players throughout the year.

Sonia Raman, former assistant coach with the Memphis Grizzlies, reviews film with player Gregory Jackson on Feb. 4, 2024 in Boston, Massachusetts.

Paul Rutherford | Getty Images Sport | Getty Images

Whether through one-on-one meetings, side conversations during practice, or taking players out to lunch or dinner, Raman says she builds trust in various ways. Each relationship is unique, but the most important part is having genuine interactions.

“As I make those connections and [my players] start to understand that I care, and that I care not just about the wins and the losses, but about them as people, then the rest of the conversations flow,” Raman says.

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