In July last year, the worst possible thing happened to Maddison and Luke Waldron. Their son Teddy was stillborn, while his twin brother, Kai, fought to survive in intensive care.
Maddison describes it as the darkest time of their lives, when they faced “unimaginable grief”.
“Teddy continued to grow into the third trimester, where his heart naturally stopped and was born sleeping, while his brother Kai was rushed to NICU with his own set of complications,” she said.
“We were faced with the heartbreak of losing one child while fighting for the survival of the other.”
Amid their pain, the family received an unexpected gift from strangers.
A volunteer group called Treasured Babies, based in Mooroolbark, in Melbourne’s east, provided hand-made clothes, booties, a beanie and a soft rug, which the Waldrons used to dress Teddy for his cremation.
The clothes came in an angel box, as they’re called, made and painted by another volunteer group, the Croydon Men’s Shed. In the box, the Waldrons placed photos and letters and a teddy bear his brother Kai had cuddled.
Maddison and Luke, whose son Kai is now “thriving” at seven months old, will never forget the volunteers’ loving care.
“It meant everything,” Maddison said. “In the middle of unimaginable grief, knowing strangers had taken the time to lovingly make something for our baby made us feel seen and supported. It brought comfort during the darkest days of our lives.
“This helped us honour him with dignity and love when we felt completely broken.”
The Waldrons’ story is just one among many thousands from what a spokeswoman for Red Nose Australia, which helps co-ordinate the scheme, describes as an extraordinary service by two groups of volunteers that combine to help grieving families across Australia.
Until now, their efforts have gone largely under the radar.
In the past year, 2600 Treasured Babies packs of tiny clothes and rugs and little hearts or teddies have been delivered to families, and 755 of those have included wooden angel boxes.
Some families use the boxes for burial, dressing babies in the donated clothes.
Other parents choose to keep the boxes and donated items as cherished memory boxes.
The items are sent out free following referrals from families, hospitals and funeral homes to parents whose babies have died from causes including miscarriage, neo-natal death and stillbirth.
Brochures from Red Nose Australia listing support services are included.
Red Nose Australia director of bereavement services Rachel Ficinus says the care and dedication that Treasured Babies and Croydon Men’s Shed volunteers put into “creating something special and tangible for bereaved families” is extraordinary.
“When a baby dies or is born still, families often have had very little warning,” Ficinus said.
“Providing appropriately sized clothing, both as a keepsake and for their little one to be buried in, helps remove some of the burden families face in those early days.
“These boxes are loved and cherished by many families.”
At Treasured Babies, based in The Terrace shopping centre in Mooroolbark, volunteers hand-stitch, crochet and knit clothes, lid liners and blankets and paint flowers on angel boxes.
Anita Hartley, who has suffered miscarriage, and who makes little hearts and crochets blankets, matinee jackets, hats and booties for Treasured Babies, said “there was nothing like this around when I lost my baby. We were told to go home and forget about it.
“It’s a good feeling that you are giving someone else, something you never got. It was never acknowledged, our pregnancies.”
Liz Martin, who has volunteered on and off for more than 20 years, makes tiny sleeping bags and linings for the boxes from donated wedding dresses. She also knits little pieces of clothing.
Martin, who suffered four miscarriages, says the items give parents an acknowledgement of their loss. “It’s a little memento to say your baby existed,” she said. “And that it mattered.”
Since 2014, Croydon Men’s Shed volunteers have made more than 4000 angel boxes, which are 33 centimetres long and 20 centimetres wide, at their base on Swinburne University’s Croydon campus.
Men’s Shed volunteer Geoff Coutts hopes that the service helps families that are in “a really bad place” because it shows “they know that people care about them”.
Fellow volunteer Ian Rayson says the two programs may save recipients the cost and anxiety of having to find clothing and a mode of burial for their baby.
Volunteer Ron Harper said: “What can we give them? Not much, but we can give them probably a little comfort in their time of need.”
Red Nose Australia’s Say Their Name Day, to acknowledge the names of lost babies and children, is on March 25, when remembrance services open to the public are held across Australia.
Red Nose 24/7 Grief and Loss Support Line Call 1300 308 307 or visit rednose.org.au/support
