Why is everyone apologising? It’s 50 years since Elton sang Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word, yet these days I spend my time swatting more apologies than flies at a one-day cricket match. So prolific is its use you would think we’ve all been very, very naughty.
The widespread overuse, and misuse, of this short but powerful word has dulled our senses by diluting its significance, revealing a societal need to constantly placate, along with spotlighting the demise of sincerity. Sorry, as it happens, seems to be the easiest word.
Elton John in 1976, when he reckoned ‘sorry’ was the hardest word.Credit: Syndication International
My observations have led me to a vast and cavernous void between saying sorry and needing to say sorry. The Oxford Dictionary defines sorry as an expression of sadness or sympathy, and to feel regret. We’ve managed to expand this meaning, exposing either a lack of vocabulary or a true intent.
Sorry is the go-to for the over-apologiser, for example, revealing more about their self-esteem than their regret or sympathy. This is the person who says sorry to you when you’ve stubbed your own toe, like they were somehow responsible. Thoughtful as an expression of sympathy maybe, but completely misplaced as regret.
Sorry is the perfect foil for manipulators who use it to parry and advance a behaviour they are never going to change. They’ve learnt that saying sorry gets them off the hook without having to mean it, feeling neither sympathy nor regret.
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Sorry spat viciously is an effective and cutting barb suggesting the speaker is most definitely, and defiantly, not sorry. Served with a side of sarcasm would also suggest that they’d happily do it again.
Then there is the prolifically misused sorry that adorns every question like an inoculation against potential conflict. “Hello, I’d like to pay my account,” I said. “Sorry, what was your name” came the reply. Sorry, can you pass a napkin? Sorry, do you have the time? Sorry, is that chair taken?
The conditional sorry comes with a barrage of excuses that won’t stop until someone absolves the over-explainer of any wrongdoing. Sorry I’m late, but my alarm didn’t go off and I got held up in traffic because a family of ducks crossed the highway and I missed the turn and the GPS went crazy, and I couldn’t find a park …
